On becoming a ballroom dancer….part 2

A little more than a year ago right at the start of the pandemic here in the US, I posted about my very first ballroom dance competition and how I got started with ballroom dancing. In that post (part 1), I go in depth into some of the reflections that I had so feel free to check it out. But for this post (part 2), is more of a continuation and transformation of that journey a year later, and especially after having just competed in my second ever ballroom dance competition.

It’s probably a broken record by now to say the past year probably the slowest ever. But in some ways, we all needed this time. For those of us whom were fortunate enough to be able to slow down and think and question what we may have once taken for granted about ourselves or about the world. It was definitely a mental rollercoaster for me, ranging from Imposter syndrome and self confidence to pondering over the meaning of friendships (both virtual and in-person) and even financial and scheduling anxieties from those ridesharing trips to the studio because of my lack of a car, to name a few. And to be honest, even up until the second before the announcer called up my first heat and I took my partner’s hand to step on the dancefloor, everything mentioned above (and more) absolutely raced throughout my mind. But the moment I stepped on the floor, gave my partner a nod and a smile (“we got this!”), as I the announcer called out the first dance (it was a Cha Cha), I held out my hand, leaned slightly forward to feel the connection (I competed in the Latin style….best style xD), and listened to the “4&1” beats as my cue to start. And then, we began our practiced routine….timestep, New Yorker, etc………..

It all seemed so ephemeral now….and the routine seemingly simple….but this was several months in the making.

From starting solo private lessons in January to meeting Rebecca my partner in March for the first time, and quite honestly struggling together with the connection (ok, let’s be real I was the one struggling most of the time 😂) as well as much self doubt and deep conversations, all of that went away the moment I leaned forward and the beat dropped for the Cha Cha. And it was as if I were back at the dance studio during a practice round, but even more….there was something different, something even more liberating.

Since normally it would just be my partner and I, no other couples, at the studio during those rounds, so it definitely took out the anxiety. But I felt less anxious, more myself on the competition dancefloor……there must be some magic of the dancefloor. It was as if the Imposter syndrome that had plagued and is still plaguing me most of these days….things at work about model overlays or why the data count wouldn’t reconcile….or even self doubt about my single life….all of that vanished into thin air. It was just me, Rebecca, the bright lights of the ballroom, and the blasting music. And there was nothing I could do but let myself be free.

Currently going through post-competition withdrawal….while at the same time, I can feel my love and excitement for this sport and hobby grow exponentially stronger, such that while I know the road ahead will be full of ups and downs, to think about the next time I can experience the euphoria on the competition floor makes this all worth it.

I’m proud to consider myself a ballroom dancer….Latin dancer, to be specific…of which is a fact that has often been questioned by my self doubt. But as if everything in life, and if the pandemic hadn’t taught us enough, nothing/no one can ever accomplished anything alone. There are so many people I’m grateful of, many of whom have certainly helped me get through the past year and keep at it with dance, including but not limited to,

Amy (and Johannes) the best mentors….James and his amazing community and unrelenting inspiration….Phoenix for allowing me to discover and improve my body awareness….Matias for being an inspiration for dance….Christie for being an amazing friend even though we’re 3000 miles apart….Rachel….Carnegie Mellon ballroom team….Christine….

….as well as my practice partner, Thea for dancing and practicing with me to help me get used to connection

….Rozana and Terry Sweeney….and the Art & Style studio

….and last but certainly not least, my lovely partner (and amazing dancer that she is) Rebecca.